Relationships and Online Social Networks: The Value of Sites Like Twitter and Plurk
Why are some friendships short and fleeting while others may last for an entire lifetime? Apart from personality differences and many other reasons, communication (or the lack of it) is also a factor which determines the strength or longevity of social relationships.
According to a recent study of 2 million people and 8 million phone calls over one year, researchers discovered that the cause of persistent relationships is reciprocity – returning a friend’s call. The more often you call each other, the longer your relationship.
The results showed that the strongest factor determining persistence values was when individuals returned calls to each other. When links were reciprocated, those links had a greater chance of persisting for longer time periods. Also, when an individual´s connections had connections among themselves (when a person´s friends knew each other), his or her own connections lasted longer.
The results also revealed insight into individuals with a high number of social connections:
It has been known for a long time that some people are much more connected than others, yet it was not known whether these highly connected individuals also had a larger number of strong connections. While time constraints may force people with more ties to be less persistent on average, the data also showed that, in absolute terms, people with more ties also have a greater number of persistent ties than those less connected.
Highly connected individuals are not trading quality for quantity; rather, they appear to be more socially expressed in both the numbers of links and the persistence or strength of them.”
Let’s transplant these findings into social media. Having a large online network of friends doesn’t mean you naturally have weaker ties with everyone. As we’ve seen, the depth and lifespan of a relationship is the result of making effort to connect repeatedly over time.
In our current age, communication itself can be divided into different degrees of intimacy or impact. For instance, meeting someone in person offers the greatest depth of connection, since you’re essentially having an un-mediated experience of the other. Phones and video technology with visual representation also enable people to engage one other in real-time.
And of course, there are lifestreaming/microblogging sites like Plurk (my profile) or Twitter which allow you to meet and communicate with large groups of people from all over the world. This method of communication is less personal but its no less legitimate. In my opinion, its a form of ultra-casual, ‘light-touch’, non-invasive communication.
The strength of lifestreaming services lies in their ability to help you develop persistence in relationships, which itself will enable you to gradually build a network of people around you. These are individuals who’ll provide you with feedback, information, conversation, empathy as well as support for your present or future initiatives/goals.
Lifestreaming makes it easy for a group of people to be informed of your opinions and events in your personal life. It’s like taking up a phone and calling a few hundred people at once. It’s effortless to talk to many people through Twitter/Plurk as well and using these services not only strengthens your existing relationships but broadens the range of people you can know.
When it comes to ROI, we often instinctively know what is most important and hence worth pursuing. We are interested in developing strong relationships with others that share similar interests/goals. Hence, some of us return to these sites again and again.
You can keep on thinking of ways to leverage a new social channel like Plurk, but don’t forget: In the end, people market people. If these lifestreaming/microblogging sites help you to develop persistence in beneficial relationships, isn’t that a good enough reason to use them?
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Hey Maki, how much time do you actually spend on Plurk? Seems like I see you on there just when your having lunch. correct?
I think the biggest downside to these sites is the amount of time people spend on them an not necessarily developing a relationship.
You totally nailed this one…a post that says something very important about social media that hasn’t already been said. Awesome!!!
Great points, Maki. I took a month off of Twitter and some other networks in May, which gave me a little more clarity about the ROI. One conclusion I came to is that, while the business value of Twitter by itself may not be very strong, it’s ability to reinforce other social networks and contacts has a big impact. Twitter helps me stay relevant to people in my industries.
Reciprocal arrangements bring the best out of people in all walks of life.
The funny thing is, I’m not sure that us guys are the best at that, certainly not when it comes to picking up the phone. Having said that, when we do get back in touch, it is like we have never been apart.
My problem with online social networking is working out exactly what others’ agenda might be. Some are out to bulid friendships and relationships, others to promote a site or business. Working out who is who is the hardest part when you can’t look into their eyes!
If one could carefully budget their time on twitter – that would seem to make good sense. But, I can also see one spending too much on twitter, instead of other things.
A very interesting post, but do you think there could in fact be too much persistence? Lifestreaming keeps us abreast of thoughts and actions of others, but a quality filter of sorts may be needed to filter the signal from the noise. After all, we do have a finite capacity of what we can keep abreast of.
Yep, it allows casual contact and frequent communication – and the relationship-building factor is strong. The trick is to know how to use it effectively and fit it into your workflow. I think that lifestreaming services (and the Web in general) is going to force us to evolve into a new kind of multi-tasking information creatures. Our own brain processor speeds have little choice but to increase in efficiency if we want to succeed in this fast new digital world. I can feel the evolution kicking in. And I can feel some people getting left behind.
I have to admit, I have personally become quite addicted to Twitter.
Apart from being a ton of fun, it’s also an excellent way to engage with
your readership, ask for feedback, and even get your next article ideas.
Twitter is also an incredible tool for finding out more about your readers.
Social media platforms have quickly become one of the best spots for
in-depth market research.
There is nothing more powerful than engaging with your community of
readers and Twitter is one of the best places to join in on the conversation.
Don’t get a crush on someone on Twitter. It will be like stabbing your heart and pouring lemon juice on the wound every time she tweets about every aspect of her life. Then your only option is to stop “following” her, and then things are just weird. In other words, don’t use Twitter to get to know anyone you might actually care about.
Great post. I hadn’t considered one of the benefits of Plurk to be the ease of maintaining persistent communication, and this was a great reminder of that. Although this is a great benefit to the service, and to social networks in general, I think you hit on something when you called the method of communication “less personal.” Unlike you, though, I am of the opinion that less personal DOES mean less legitimate, as I recently wrote about on my own blog (at http://tinyurl.com/42xrkv). Although engaged users might have connections of both quantity and quality, a relationship can only be as strong as the content that’s exchanged.
Do you really think less personal means less legitimate?
Been enjoying your Plurks. See you around.
Excellent post – you nailed it right on!
You wrote – In the end, people market people
I typically say People like doing business with people.. be real and accessable!
Perfect!
It really is great being able to jump back into the Plurk river some time back and others may do the same. This makes nonsense of one of my favorite quotes from Heraclites, You can’t jump into the same river twice. Not true in this persistent Internet.
But what if our “relationships” are substantially limited to the virtual variety? Are they real? Persistent != real. On the flip side, is there really a harm to the plethora of virtual relationships? Can’t see one so long as we talking about adults. For the teenagers, I wonder if virtual relationships do not block the real variety.
This is interesting and all, but the thing with Twitter, is that you have to already know these people in order for them to reciprocate a relationship. I have been a member of twitter for some time (ecrunner); I may have 5 people following me and interacting with me. Not only that, but they are co-workers. Meanwhile, I am following over 30 people, getting tweets round the clock as people are updating their profiles. They have yet to know when I go camping or run the best marathon of my life. It seems rather difficult to get people to reciprocate any type of interaction. To me, twitter is sometimes like Digg- people follow the big names and stalk them, hoping to get the same back. I wrote a blog similar to this one, but I go into more detail on the other social sites as well- and the relationships that can develop from those. While you mention twitter and such, there is A LOT more to social sites and those relationships than meets the eye. http://tinyurl.com/5m3ecs please read and respond back with your thoughts, as I am very interested.
When it comes to online marketing or just being online in general it is all about Building Relationships and especially relationships of trust. It is crutial!
I love this article it really brought into perspective why social networking sites like Twitter and Plurk can really help build friendships that last.
Socnets are great for practicing social skills. Many social media users are geeks, who spend large amounts of time with computers, not with people. So these online community members relish their ability to converse and relate to other people online.
Twitter is a rushing river of brevities. It’s a marketable skill to be able to dive in, make sense of what’s happening, learn the netiquette and terminology, and interact with others in brief, pithy 140 character messages.
As life increases its fast pace, skill at short, to the point communication becomes vital.
I’ve always disliked telephone conversations, but I enjoy social network interactions. I try to find smart, funny, or relevant messages by unknown people I’ve Friended (because other known entities @ them) and @ (reply to) them or DM (direct message) them.
Reciprocal commenting has always been extremely important in blogging. This principle holds true in the micro-blog/status update/link archiving/insight sharing sites like Twitter, Jaiku, Pownce, Plurk.
P.S. It’s easy to get strangers to reciprocate. Just find a message that you agree with, or find funny, or relevant to your career field or hobby, and thank them. Go “@vaspersthegrate that was really comical, that YouTube video you linked to” and so on.
Sometimes I try to politely, but firmly disagree, or feel a need to correct someone. When they are receptive to my different point of view, I really like them, and I make sure that I compliment them on at least considering my opinion.
The focus has to be on providing human warmth and professional value to others. Encouraging, playfully scolding, helping, teasing, joking, linking, debating, enlightening, exposing (frauds or trolls)…all these interactions have their place in socnets (social networks), depending on your purpose and personality.
After a heated debate with someone, I always send them a private message, thanking them for expressing their viewpoint and engaging in a stimulating discussion with me.
You might be astonished at the complexity and depth of interactions in these sites.
Maki, were you the first or do you know who was the first to use the term “Lifestreaming”?
Maki, I think it’s all about connecting with your friends and building relationship and it is applicable whether you are on social networks or in real world.
You said it right – people market people.
Maki – another great post. I’m enjoying your insight that I’ve just started following the past few weeks.
Lifestreaming, why not use it? Time…. Like you switching from twitter, the number of social networks that are used for these relationship building functions can consume more than their value in regards to keeping them all up to date or to hour as the case may be.
Great!!!Communication and reciprocity,i would say are 100% more important than just information..iam experiencing this in my biz….
“In the end, people market people”. Knowing this to be true I believe is paramount to understanding and leveraging social networking. Persistance in the form of communication and reciprocity is key while utilizing and leveraging sites like Twitter and Plurk to grow relationships of all kinds.
@ Josh
I’m actually on Plurk quite often, not just for lunch. I’ve been using it regularly since I signed up.
@ Dr Pete
The business value for anything can be found in networks, connections and people. Reinforcing your relationships and making new friends are a great benefit of using Twitter and other sites like it.
@ Wii Boy
Yeah it’s hard to REALLY discern one’s motivations although it’ll naturally be noticeable once you interact more. I can easily tell when someone who only wants to extract a benefit and move on… they are quite different from the people who are actually interested in connecting more by conversing about common interests.
@ Bamboo Forest
I think it doesn’t take much time to keep in touch with people on Twitter. Use it when you are free, that alone is good enough. Relationships are the accumulation of interactions over time.
@ Simon
Well I think it depends on how you work the website. Personally, I only respond to items or messages which interest me.. so I’m not trying to conscientiously monitor everything that someone does. You can do that if you want but I think being OK with having some content stream pass your sensors is important, as you’ve said… you don’t want too much noise too.
@ BrettFromTibet
Yes I do think lifestreaming services change the way we interact. Like you, I wonder if there’s a long term impact in the way our cognitive functions work…
@ Kim Roach
I agree… Twitter is an excellent tool for feedback. I’ve been using it to engage my readership away from the blog and its been terrific so far.
@ AllTwitteredOut
That sounds horrible. I feel for ya, I really do. Thanks for the advice….
@ Andy DeSoto
Nope, I don’t think less personal = less legitimate. It’s just the message is less impactful (comparing a face to face conversation and a plurk session) since you have less visual or behavioral cues. But if one is authentic, the message is still legitimate since it conveys a meaning which one believes in and wants to share.
@ Barry
I’m going back to the PLurk river after writing this comment!
@ Joe
That topic is a deep one. I would say that virtual relationships ARE real although it depends on your own personal definition of reality. I don’t see a harm in having virtual (online) relationships. Balance is the key I guess.. if you’re purely staying in the house day after day in front of the computer, you might miss out on ‘real’ relationships but then again if that makes you happy…. why not?
@ Erin
For Twitter and most social sites, passive following doesn’t really work that well. People won’t know that you exist if you don’t speak up. The best thing to do is to actively engage the users by responding to their messages, asking them questions and sharing links with them. Don’t be shy. What you have to say may be important to the other person, so don’t disqualify yourself from the start.
Of course, everyone has a limited amount of time so its normal for them to only talk within their established networks and now engage people they don’t know. All in all, it depends on the personality and goals of the other person involved as well. This you can discern over consistent interaction.
@ Steven
Thanks for offering the tips on reciprocating comments!
@ Pixel Head
No I wasn’t the first to use the term “Lifestreaming”. I’m not sure who was… its been around for a while.
@Tom
Time is always a problem. The way I see Twitter/Plurk etc is that you don’t always have to keep them all up to date or use them super frequently, use them when you CAN. And use them strategically. Sometimes, that’s good enough.
@ Everyone else
Thanks for your comments!
I am still working my way into Twitter and feel like with a little bit of time it can become a great marketing tool by building connections. Personally, I think defining how you want to use it either for business or person is a good thing.
Really interesting post and helps me to see how Twitter can help one keep in touch with large numbers of people. However, I think it’s great for a work based scenario in terms of keeping in touch with contacts, latest news in your specific sector etc, and less useful in terms of keeping in touch with personal relationships/friendships, which usually require a more dedicated, personal approach. People definitely market people, but then the more people you know, if they like what you do/say, the more you’ll be marketed. The point about the more connections you have, the more long lasting they will be if you stay in regular touch is a good reason to use Twitter, but the depth of the communication also seems to matter in terms of the research ie returning calls, and that usually requires a lot more time and one-to-one communication. I’ve only recently come across your blog through Ed Dale and really enjoying it, thanks.
There’s a “Six Degrees of Separation” essence laying in wait in services like Plurk and Twitter, but no one seems to be utilizing it. As for persistent connections, maybe it’s too soon to tell but I’m not sure online connections will be anywhere nearly as persistent as offline ones. The online connections that solidify and become persistent often do so because two people eventually meet in person – usually at a conference or workshop, sometimes by intention.
Tangent: When I glimpsed this post, I suddenly had this vision of you being declared a social media expert – in a couple of years – on par with, say, Jakob Neilsen as an usability expert. (Though to be honest, a lot of his beliefs don’t seem to fit in with the blogosphere.) Anyway, whether you want it or not, if you continue to write the insightful, well-researched articles you have been here, I believe you are going to get a lot of extra-blogospheric attention. And some of those might lead to persistent connections.
excellent article. i must admit that i was using social media more for business purposes.
but i now realize that will only take you so far and it is also artificial – no connection.
social media was created for the purpose of bringing people together. i forgot about that part.
thanks for the insight, your blog posts are always on point.
Social sites and blogging is all about connecting and building relationships with other people.Twitter is just one tool among many others.
@johnson roth –
You are correct about Jakob Nielsen, for he is primarily an ecommerce website pundit. He doesn’t really understand social media, even from an online marketing or SEO viewpoint, which is quite odd. But still, most of what he says about web usability, online reading, web text writing, article titles, etc. are entirely true and applicable to blogs.
As far as virtual connections causing damage or loss to real world personal interactions, that’s a myth. From what I can see, even if you never physically meet your comrades on Twitter or in the blogosphere, you can develop close, mutually beneficial relationships.
Some of my online friends, especially blogocombat buddies, know me better than my own family and offline friends do. Why? Because I post a lot of material, ranging from my tastes in music and art, to my opinions about web usability and online marketing, to metaphysical insights and philosophical concerns.
Just teach your kids how to be safe online, how to detect a cult leader and group, and how to determine the credibility of internet information. You can show them examples of stalkers, trolls, and predators on some of the popular live streaming video sites. When a male asks a female lifecaster “Do you have a boyfriend?” Then “It must be tough to be a single mom”…such insincere ploys to determine if any protectors are around. Etc.
Business As Usual, the old skool, was sell sell sell. Today’s transparent age of altruistic honesty demands tell tell tell. Share insights and expertise. That will slowly build trust and people will want to buy your books, products, seminars.
People don’t join online social communities because they want to buy stuff, nor do they participate in them so they can receive commercial messages about your company. They hate and shun such crass marketing.
But they love to learn, discover cool sites and effective tools, and explore great opportunities.
I advise online marketers to provide 80% education and only 20% sales presentations. Build trust in your authority, expertise, and passion. Then offer associated items, as an afterthought, for those who may be interested in what you have to sell.
I LOVE twitter but haven’t delved into Plurk yet. Actually, this is the first I’ve heard of it. I’ve met a lot of cool people on twitter and it is so easy to keep in touch with them using the site. Another writer friend likens it to a work at home “water cooler”. I’d have to agree but it is more than that. It isn’t socially acceptable to run to the water cooler and advertise that you made a new blog post.
Maki,
It’s true, when you invest, poople feel it and invest back. In fact, my experience and the study you quote seem to agree on the point that people invest back in kind. You show authentically and so will most of the folks who are part of your social circle.
Excellent point of view. Microblogging is a good invention for people who are always in a hurry and access is getting easier.
I have been a member of Twitter but unfortunately, I cannot maximize yet. Maybe I will try Plurk some time and hoping for a more positive result.
Thanks.
actually thats a great point there maki. It’s just like in real life. People most of the time use twitter just to spam other people with stuffs. The real value of twitter is to communicate with people around you. Me i use to communicate with people i haven’t talked to for quite a while..
Thanks I will send this on to friends I already sent this on to my friend David who helps me with my site. This is great and important information.
Thanks for sharing..and I’m heading over to Plurk now…
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
grammology.com
Even if you sit beside a person 5 times a week, but you don’t talk to her/him, no relationship will be developed. Online connection saves time and fuel. I have experienced stronger friendships with people I met online than those I meet almost every day.
For Jogging rapidly through the links in this post and landing back on this blog…, this’ll be my contribution
http://www.jogtheweb.com/reader/index.php?trackId=108
Yesterday I took the plunge and opened a Twitter account.
One of my favorite aspects of pages such as Twitter is that it’s so easy to follow complete strangers who you find interesting in one way or another. Blogs, microblogs, internet communities and so on allow you to find people that you are separated by merely because of geography or the lack of friends in common – you can now overstep that boundary and establish a wider network.
Excellent post bro… gud…gud…
I realize the strength of the relationships depend on the sincerity and reciprocity, but I think there is a point of overload. I can’t deny that sites like Plurk and Twitter are extremely useful tools, but having so many “ultra-casual” updates can be cumbersome. I have noticed my strongest connections (as you mentioned) have been from when I had to seek out others’ personal opinions and views, not just lifestreamed to me — I think that is an insincere way of genuinely keeping abreast. I know I would rather have someone ask me what I think than rather just telling them. As Simon mentioned, I believe there has to be a quality filter to all the noise. Once again, great time-saving tools but I am never going to be too busy for a more intimate connection.
Maki, thanks again for the comments. I totally agree that you have to cut a bit of slack from time to time, otherwise you would spend every waking hour monitoring what everyone else did and not enough devoted to what really matters.
Plurk and Twitter, etc have helped a lot with making new realtionships with people I would have never talked to otherwise… Just for the simple fact of maybe these people can get help from me in the future, or vice versa, that alone is more than enough of a reason to use these social networking sites that are provided for free..
I believe very much in Dosh when she writes. I have just opened a twitter account and I am now moving to plurk. I want to see how these sites can work for me. I love MyBlogLog and if I don’t find them better than MyBlogLog, then I can’t give them much of my time
When business, social interaction, indeed all of society were ONLY in person,
[or over the phone with a likelihood of face to face contact next],
there was built in a tacit distance for comfort.
There was that unspoken verbal perimeter.
With the internet, and cultural mores that have evolved to fit and take
advantage of it, we have the opposite motion;
The ‘personal space comfort’ pre-exists, and indeed there’s TOO much of it so
we move closer to each other with words.
Twitter has enabled the logistics [the setting and culture] to elevate
the intimacy of our lives online.
I believe they are doing far more for human interaction than many realize.
And as Maki has said :
“…persistence in beneficial relationships…” is reason enough to use them! {paraphrased}
Hi! I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you have some really valuable information on your website. Twitter is a great way for bloggers and website owners to stay in touch with their audience.
Another great place for people to check on tips and ideas on how to promote and market your blog through Twitter is: 101bloggingessentials.com. Though it’s an eBook that they are selling, it’s really cool to get a preview of the book. They have a small snippet that tells you exactly what you’re going to read.
All in all, 101 blogging essentials gives you just that. 101 ideas, tips and tricks to spruce up your blog and make money!
Agreed. I’ve developed a friendship on Twitter with a friend of a friend who I only see at conferences. Twitter and Plurk are wonderful ways to find new people with whom to connect without making an enormous effort.
Though Ive used twitter with limited success i suppose Ive never even hear of plurk. Gonna of course try it out, anything for more traffic.
I’m not finding social networking very social
It seems to me that most people are interested in collecting friends and followers verses developing relationships.
Rosh
prosperousartists.com
great works,Twitter is just one tool among many others.
Maki, Thanks for the heads up on Plurk. I followed your invite and had my account up and running in less than 5 minutes. This one definitely looks interesting.
>>My problem with online social networking is working out exactly what others’ agenda might be. Some are out to bulid friendships and relationships, others to promote a site or business. Working out who is who is the hardest part when you can’t look into their eyes!
That was well said Wii Boy. This is the same problem I used to have, but in the end, I decided I didn’t care. We are all networking to get something out of it, even if that something is just a few interesting conversations, or with a larger goal in mind.
The key is to build a social network on myspace and facebook using an interesting profile with really sexy pictures. Guys will flock to the page and want to be your friend and it will become viral in how many guys will check out your site. The key is trying to make a profile that looks *real* rather than simply just trying to sell people something which will be what they will try to avoid.
@ConnieBrooks – It’s easy.
Just click on the Profile of a Twitter user, and that will show you, not a “profile” as other socnets use the term, but the last several tweets by that user. Then click on Older at bottom right corner of page.
By perusing the last 20 or so messages, you can quickly tell if they’re using Twitter as a trivial chat tool, product marketing, self-promotions, profound insights, link sharing/archiving, personal drivel channel, etc.
Steven – good idea, thanks!
@ConnieBrooks – You’re very welcome.
http://twitter.com/vaspersthegrate
@Natalie – That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard. What are you, a 12 year old troll?
You definitely got it right about Plurk–It’s just like picking up a phone and calling a few hundred people at once, except that with Plurk in particular, you’re also calling up all of your friends’ friends and so on.
It is a great article about social networking. I am not using Twitter and Plurk. I am going to try them out soon. Hopefully could make some new friends.
Regards:
William
eBlog Entrepreneur
Building quality relationships is the same in the world of social media as it is in the real world. You have to make an effort and you have to stick around. Anyone that thinks social media is a hit and quit it marketing tool is only hurting themselves and their reputation in the communities where they participate.
Some of these social networking sites are kind of complicated. I’m still trying to figure out Twitter… But I do agree that the ability to reciprocate lengthens a relationship. This is why it is so effective in blogging. Someone leaves a comment on someones blog. That blogger emails the person to thank them for their comment. The person is impressed with the response and goes back to the blog to leave another comment… and so on.
Steven – good idea, thanks! youxi-2008.org.cn/news.html